This week we were to work on our listening skills by listening empathetically to another person. Listening is an incredibly important skill for any person because it allows you to learn about others ideas, feelings, or misunderstandings. I decided to write about my experience helping mentor another student in my computer science class, and the listening skills I have learned from it.
When mentoring this student I have learned quite a bit about how to listen well and how to use what I learn by listening to her problems with the material to help her better understand it. Listening is much more than just hearing the other person. It is about understanding what they are saying and many times understanding what they aren't saying. It is about hearing what they are saying and using you perspective or experience to help them better understand their own question or problem, or using what you know of them to help them feel better about it. When tutoring I'm often dealing more with problems understanding topics, but often times the same principles apply. For one I have to listen to when my mentee is becoming frustrated and try to help motivate her. Sometimes it is by agreeing that the problem is tough, but assuring that once it is solved it will become much easier. Sometimes it is just by taking a break from the problem and working on another. I also have to listen to the problems my mentee is having understanding the topics, and try to use what I hear to help prepare a response. I must understand the misunderstanding my mentee is having, by using my own experiences with the problems. I have found that many times the best way for me to teach is to ask questions that lead to the answer. Without first listening and understanding the problem, though, I would never be able to know what questions to ask.
When listening it is important to keep engaged in what the person is saying. If you listen intently they will see that you really are interested and will continue to talk, whereas if you become distracted or show disinterest, they are more likely to clam up because they don't feel like they are really being heard. I am fairly easily distracted and often have the most trouble with this. I always continue to listen, but I don't always show it well, and I do notice a difference when I am showing that I am listening and when I am not. And when I don't listen well, it takes more to reengage my mentee in the work.
Interesting experience. ill be honest i have never heard the word mentee used before. I too can agree with you that when you make it very obvious that you are listening to someone you will get a much different response then when you are listening but not looking at them. i think that is because people recieve a greater sense of care when you are looking at them and listening as opposed to not.
ReplyDeleteGood job on using listening techniques! It seems like you did a good job utilizing the techniques of [A] asking to see what your mentee needs help with, [M] mirror when you agree with the mentee if a mutual problem occurs, [A] asking what they think the answer is to better help the mentee, and all three of the ABC’s for responding. Your post made me realize that an effective teacher is one that can utilize listening and responding techniques to the fullest. When all of the techniques are used, the mentee has the highest change of understanding the material to its fullest. Once again, great post and great use of the techniques from class!
ReplyDeletePatrick
Sounds like you are taking a good approach to your mentoring assignments. By listening, you are able to determine which problems that your student needs help on, and how long she can go before she needs a break. Have you tried relating with her on a more personal level. For example, before starting schoolwork, maybe you could ask her about her day and take the time to get to know her as a person. Overall, though, it seems like you are doing a good job.
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